I’ve just got back from a short golf trip to Benidorm with mum. We arrived in the sunshine, and I had a lovely sit on the balcony catching some rays. Mum’s friend Julie was there as well, but unfortunately Julie had forgotten to bring Daphne with her. I must admit I was initially very worried, because I thought Julie might expect me to stand in for Daphne. I don’t think I would like that.

I thought mum and Julie were going slightly mad because they were talking about tea time being at 11:00 in the morning. I thought that was just called ‘elevenses’. It was only later that I realised that they actually were saying tee-time. Why do golfers make things so confusing?

As rain was forecast for the second and third days, I was determined to play on the first day so I snuck into mum’s golf bag.

When mum and Julie were distracted, I thought I would have a go at driving the buggy. It is not easy when your feet don’t reach the pedals. I decided to freewheel downhill and hope it would stop before crashing into something.

I thought I played quite well, but I really think I need shorter clubs. Maybe mum will take me shopping and get me some Teddy clubs.

Since the weather forecast was not very nice I thought I would stay inside on the Saturday and Sunday in the warmth of the hotel room, and let mum and her friends play. They came back rather wet and cold (so much for the Costa Blanca being a warm and sunny destination all year!) so I made the right decision.

What a cheek – I had to travel with the golf clubs on the flight home, I thought I’d have my own seat. As I settled in I became aware of… well, I don’t know whether it was the shoes or the wet golf glove…

We made it back safely, and thankfully dad was waiting to pick us up at Gatwick airport to take us home.